Some Whole Wheat Words

And Other Up-Lift

Ed Banger

with 8 comments

I think I inhaled about a quart of chemical fog from the Justice laser show last night. My spine has been compressed by what feels like several inches, and the bottoms of my feet feel pounded flat. My neck hurts from headbanging. My ears rang for hours afterwards.

In other words, mission complete. The mashup of “We Are Your Friends” and Paul Simon’s “Call Me Al” was hilarious gold. The crowd was respectful but not friendly, and uninterested in dancing with me. Their loss. I took out my slight frustration on their insteps and heels, inadvertently.

I ran out of energy around 2 AM. I need to get back to the gym. Beautifully dressed hipsters made me feel fat and uncomfortable.

The people I was looking forward to meeting, other Electro nerds with two left feet, never materialised. It’s quite possible that they don’t exist. My loss, this time. Outside, I bummed a single cigarette off of a hipster, lit it with matches in two tries, and smoked it clumsily. The headrush sucked the warmth from my extremities and left me shivering and sick to my stomach, soaked in sweat on a cold concrete stoop at a quarter to three.

I finished off the other half of my wine when we got back to the house and then stayed up until five on a strange couch, looking at the ceiling. I didn’t find anything, but I came to some conclusions. All of which I’ve now forgotten.


Written by wholewheatwords

April 1, 2007 at 12:34 am

Posted in Uncategorized

8 Responses

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  1. I love you, Joe.
    Take me with you next time.


    April 1, 2007 at 5:54 pm

  2. yo, where’d you stay? you can always crash at my place, even if we’re not hanging out. okay? so just call me.

    and it sucks about the crowd. stupid hipsters.. did i tell you what hailey overheard in the library? (“oh, can we ride our bicycles to kensington later and buy some patties? please? it’s so beautiful out..”–say it with me: double-you. tea. eff.)

    and it’s okay that you didn’t dance with anyone. dancing by yourself is way more fun. we can all dance with ourselves at my birthday shindig on saturday.. you’re in, right? cuz i really want you there!

    also: stop smoking. gross.

    charlene chae

    April 1, 2007 at 7:35 pm

  3. i love this entry, it warms my heart and makes me giggle. also: what kind of patties are sold at kensington? hamburger patties? veggie patties? beef patties?? speaking of beef patties, remember when you tried to buy beef patties at dominion(which has been deemed evil by the discussion on my blog) and they turned out to be veggie?? LMAO i literally lol at the memory. boy were you unpleasantly surprised. GOOD TIMES! im still a dominion slave though, tis where the gelatos at. sorry for the novel, andrea.


    April 1, 2007 at 8:11 pm

  4. A quart of chemical fog eh? I wish that the band I went to see last night had a laser/chemical fog set. That would have made it really cool. I hope that you enjoyed the show. Justice is pretty good at what they do and what they do is pretty good.

    I also have to agree with the person above, smoking is pretty uncool (no matter what the hipsters tell you).

    Don’t get down over losing what the conclusions were that you made on the couch that night. I typically forget some of the more brilliant ones I have come up with. One that I wrote down read “Pirate rugby vegetarian pudding”. What does that mean? I have no fucking clue but it made sense at the time.

    P.S. When I get back into town, we are going to the Y again.


    April 2, 2007 at 12:16 am

  5. that sounds like you had fun fun fun
    where was this?


    May 19, 2007 at 10:46 am

  6. Toronto, Canada, at the Mod Club.

    You’re from Dublin? How in hell did you find this?


    May 19, 2007 at 5:42 pm

  7. Want to start your private office arms race right now?

    I just got my own USB rocket launcher 🙂 Awsome thing.

    Plug into your computer and you got a remote controlled office missile launcher with 360 degrees horizontal and 45 degree vertival rotation with a range of more than 6 meters – which gives you a coverage of 113 square meters round your workplace.
    You can get the gadget here:

    Check out the video they have on the page.


    Marko Fando


    October 2, 2007 at 3:46 pm

  8. I’ve got an Amazon gift certificate burning holes in my pocket,
    and I want to get the most bang for my buck.

    Enter the Secret Amazon Web Pages:

    This is where you’re going to find the “latest sales, rebates, and limited-time offers” from
    Amazon, and you can score some pretty deep discounts if you’re a savvy shopper.

    Next, there’s the special Sale link. This is open every Friday, and ONLY on Fridays.

    You can find the same good discounts here as you would in hidden Deals, although some
    Fridays you can really get lucky and make off like an Amazon bandit – I’ve seen discounts
    there as low as 75% off sticker price.


    October 4, 2007 at 10:32 pm

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